Kids always display so much confidence when they are saying the craziest things

So Lauren is telling this story about her grandmother that passed away while L. was in college, and she says "my grandma would give me money just for spending time with her.  So mommy thought that she was . . ." Alyssa interrupts, with utmost assurance that she is finishing L.'s thought, complete with the Fonz style hand gesture:  "not very smart!"

CED Huffmaster

My turn. 

We were ona family vacation in Osage Beach, MO. Our resort patio looked out over the Lake of the Ozarks. If you looked out from our balcony the lake took a turn and so about 180 degrees of sight all we could see is water. The other 180 degrees is simply forest. It was a beautiful balcony. So, to enjoy this space as much as possible our family cooked out and ate on the balcony every night we were in the resort. So our 5 year old, about to turn 3 year old and the babe were eating dinner. I had purchased some fancyish cheeses the girls had never tried. One cheese was a Brie, one of my favs. Alyssa tried it and immediately rejected it. 

Looking at the Brie and thinking of how happy I am in this moment I think of how simple pleasures, like a nice cheese can relax me and make me feel everything is ok. This reminded me of my grandmother.  She was a terribly fancy, exquisite woman. I have never met another person like her, nor have I ever seen anyone like her depicted on TV. The closest person to reflect my grandmother is Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany's. 

So I looked at the Brie and wanted to tell my girls a little about how eccentric my grandmother was. In her last year of life my grandmother left the city, the beauty, her antiques and pristine home to live with my mother. Grandma's health was failing and mom had an extra room. Mom's house is not pristine and as far from a city as one can get. It is set among the natural beauty of the hills of TN but this is a very different beauty from the formal gardens my grandmother had designed. 

So when I came home from college for the summer I spent time with my grandmother. And most every time I did a little task for her she paid me, handsomely. This is not the story I intended to tell my 5 year old. I intended to tell her a story about Brie. Nonetheless, the detail that my grandmother often gave me money emerged as a detail leading to the purpose of the story. 

This is when I state "Grandma would give me money simply for spending time with her."  At this moment I pause because I want my girls to think about the natural responsibility of being with loved ones when they need us and how that doesn't require payment. I continue with my story with "Mommy thought Grandma was  . . .?"  The thought in my head is "too generous" or "kind". Alyssa instead immediately responds in a difinitive tone, with the only one possible answer "not very smart."

And there my story ended, maybe I will try again in 3-5 years. 

LMH

A Father's Day Proposal: the UnFacedBook

So this is a Father's Day present.

After 10 hours in the car I felt like we had a revelation, some good plans, some great vision. Then I lay in bed with squirmy girls who refuse to sleep and thought of this. A blog, for us, a hobby--together. Just like you always want. 

Let's tell some stories on one another. Sort of the anti-"trade last". Let's capture the stories that make us laugh everyday but that we would never tell anyone because we look like loser parent screw ups even though those are also the dead funny moments that keep us going. Let's capture the part of our lives that fills us with good. Then maybe if we are looking for the good we won't focus on the part of parenting that fills our brain with frustration.

So let's write our lives.
The proposed rules:  the stories have to be based in truth. With the two of us and the three of them there is plenty to work with; but it can be a "Secret life of Walter Mitty" thing where the real and the "that is what it felt like to me!" can become blurry. 

Let's tell stories. Let's find our voice. 

Also, as one tells a story, the other can write a rebuttal, the "hey, I didn't do that!", the other perspective. Within the honest dialogue we may deposit the imprint of our overflowing life.